I was born prematurely December 9th, 1953, with a double hernia that was undetected until I was three months of age. Eventually, the hernia developed into serious complications, with muscle strangulation of my intestine in which gangrene set in, and I was told I almost died. I was constantly told how I was a sickly child, even though I had a fairly healthy childhood. I think these constant stories caused me to believe I really was a sickly child, and caused me to become somewhat of a hypochondriac. I later learned that my mother had exaggerated the stories. The only truth in these stories I can verify is the double hernia, because I still have scars from the surgery. In my older years, I became aware of many other "exaggerations", and some deceptions that were promoted by my mother.
I grew up in a broken home. My mother was married four times. Three of those marriages were before she was 28 years old, and I had three stepfathers before I was in the second grade. I have a half-sister from my mother's first marriage, and a half-brother and sister from my father's fourth marriage. My mother divorced my father when I was three years of age, after he lost his legs in a car accident, while driving under the influence of alcohol. Alcoholism was prevalent on both sides of my family. My mother died of cirrhosis of the liver from drinking when she was only forty-one years old. Though there was always drinking and arguing between my mother and her husbands in our house, I cannot remember any physical abuse to my sister or me. There was not much of an expression of love displayed in the home, but we always seemed to have our needs met.
I also came from a musical family. My mother was a professional jazz singer and was quite gifted in singing. My father was a well-known jazz musician. When he was only seventeen years old, he won a national contest for being the best big band arranger, and the best baritone saxophone player in the United States. This contest was sponsored by Look Magazine, and they honored him at Carnegie Hall. He was given a couple of huge trophies and lots of notoriety. While growing up, I always felt pressure that I had to accomplish something musically.My sister and I spent a lot of time with our grandparents, she with our mom's mom and I with my dad's mom. I sparsely saw my father while growing up, but have good memories of the times we had together. I had a great relationship with my grandfather and grandmother. My grandmother was my cheerleader, and my grandfather was my mentor. There were many good values instilled in me by my grandparents. My grandmother always had me attend Sunday School at a Lutheran Church whenever I was staying at their house. This early spiritual influence on my life established in me faith in Jesus. I believed there was a God and Jesus was His Son, but I did not understand much more than that. As a child, I would pray to the Lord when I was frightened. I believe that He did bring me comfort from time to time with my many fears and insecurities.
When I was in the first grade, my mother married her fourth husband. She remained married to him for 13 years. He was a medical assistant in the Navy and a man who loved physical confrontation. This caused me a couple of problems. He always wanted me to be a tough kid and fight back when I was picked on by the neighborhood bullies, but this was against my nature at the time. Secondly, he was always talking about medical diseases and symptoms that added to my health insecurities. Even with constant encouragement to be tough and fight, I grew up a shy kid and avoided confrontations as much as possible. Because we moved a lot, I was constantly going to different schools and I was always being picked on. I finally discovered in the fifth grade, that if I would be willing to fight back and hang out with the toughest kids in the school that for the most part, I would be left alone. This lifestyle began a pattern for me for the next ten years.
Once I began junior high school, I started to smoke cigarettes and experiment with drugs and alcohol. When I was fifteen years old, I had a bad trip on LSD and experienced flash backs and depression until I accepted Christ. When I was sixteen, I discovered that drinking alcohol seemed to give me the feeling of security that I was looking for, and I relied on alcohol as my way to deal with social pressures. It also seemed to mask some of the psychological problems that developed from the bad LSD trip. For the next three years, I drank and abused alcohol or drugs every day. I am convinced that I was an alcoholic at the age of eighteen.
During my high school years, I had a friend named Bob, who had the reputation of doing a lot of psychedelic drugs, but had become a Christian. He seemed to have inner peace in his life and it affected me deeply. I wanted to have this peace that Bob had, but did not know how to get it. I attended some of the gatherings at the church where he was fellowshipping, and attempted to give my life over to the Lord, but my enthusiasm lasted only a couple of weeks. After that, I went back to my old lifestyle for five years.
By the time I was an eighteen-year-old, I was drinking at home on a regular basis with my friends and my parents. Between fifteen and twenty-one years old, I was arrested several times for various crimes related to drugs and alcohol use; some of these arrests resulted in spending time in jail. By the time I was nineteen years of age, I was smoking 2-3 packs of cigarettes a day, and drinking heavily. I also was having back pain from a work-related injury that began to cause me great discomfort and anxiety. Since my only solution to life's problems was alcohol, I drank more heavily in an attempt to mask how I felt emotionally and physically.
Eventually, I began to be concerned about how my smoking was affecting my health. I had been experiencing pain in my chest and left arm. Because of my Lutheran background, I would say the "Lord's Prayer" every night before I passed out from drinking. One night, I began to ask God to help me quit smoking and continued praying that prayer every night. One particular evening, feeling desperate to quit smoking soon, I asked God to help me in any way that He could. I suddenly began to fear that God would give me cancer to motivate me to stop smoking. Several days later, a friend told me how her father had suddenly died of lung cancer. The description of my friend's father, and his ailments from smoking, were so close to how I was feeling, that I thought I may be developing cancer too. That "healthy fear" motivated me to stop smoking. This was my first experience in seeing God answer prayer in a mysterious, powerful way in my adult life.
Six months after I overcame my cigarette addiction, my life style of drinking and fighting every night began to wear on me. I began to think people were out to kill me. Indeed, there were some people actually out to hurt me, including some members of the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Club. As the days rolled by, I became very fearful and depressed, and started wondering if my life was worth living. At the same time, I was terribly frightened of dying. On top of all this, I was remembering that when I was 16 years old, I had a friend who said he was a warlock. He prophesied to me, that I was going to die when I was 21 years old. At the time, I tried not to pay any attention to his proclamation, but when I was twenty, I thought more about it. Because of all this, I began to experience extreme paranoia.
As my paranoia increased, I became convinced that I was going to die at any moment, and saw everyone as a threat to my existence. I became so anxious, that I could not sleep nor eat, unless I was thoroughly intoxicated. At the same time, I took note of a young man named David, the youngest brother of a friend. He lived at a major party house where I frequently drank. He had given his life over to Christ, and in the midst of the constant chaos of this party house, I could tell that he had the same inner peace in his life that my friend Bob had in high school. Again, I was drawn towards wanting to know how to have this experience, but could not seem to understand what to do to get it.
Because I was convinced I was going to die, and I began to think about heaven and hell. This caused me more because I believed that if I did die, I would go to hell. Not wanting to go to hell, I began wondering how I could prove to God that I was serious about wanting change in my life. So, in March of 1975, I began to seek the Lord for deliverance from my fears of physical death and eternal hell fire.
On Saturday March 29th, 1975, (Easter weekend) some of my family and friends decided to go camping and partying at Green Valley Falls, California. I drove up with them, thinking it would be good to get away from the city and hang out in the mountains, to play music and seek a spiritual experience. I packed up my stuff, grabbed my guitar and headed out with everyone, but could not seem to find the comfort I was looking for. Before I knew it, I was heading back home from the mountains, and ended up drinking beer and watching Cecil B. DeMille's movie "The Ten Commandments" on TV. When the movie got to the part of Moses standing upon a giant rock, ready to part the Red Sea, I began praying in my mind, and commenting to the Lord that I believed that somehow He really did perform those miracles in Egypt. I told the Lord I was very unhappy with my life, and that I needed a miracle of deliverance from all the stuff that was robbing me of my peace of mind.
Suddenly, three questions from the Lord came into my mind. The first one was, "Why don't you become a Christian?" and I responded, "Because I would be bored as a Christian." To me, Christians could not wear hippy-style clothing, could not listen to rock and roll, and could not ride motorcycles, all the things that were important to me.
Then another question came to my mind, "Yes, but what if becoming a Christian would make you happy?" I responded, "Well, if becoming a Christian would bring me happiness, I would go for it, but I don't think I could be happy as a Christian."
Then, a third time the same type of question was asked of me, "Yes, but if becoming a Christian truly would bring you happiness, isn't this what you want?" I responded, "Yes, Lord, but I don't understand how becoming a Christian would bring me happiness, but if this is true, then I will give my life to you". And I added, "But you'll have to do a miracle, because I don't see how it could work.." After saying those words, I knew something had changed in me, but was not sure exactly what. I turned to my drinking buddy and said that I thought I would be going to church the next day, which was Easter morning.
That evening as I lay in bed, I was still severely anxious. Yet, I noticed that when I thought about sharing God with people, I experienced a deep, inner peace. When I thought about my problems, I was very aware of my fears. I did not understand this, but I tried to keep my mind on what little I knew of God so I could experience some peace in my life. Easter morning, I attended a local church, but was not really impressed by the service. I did; however, feel that my life was going to be different somehow.
The following week, I had no desire for alcohol. I knew again that something miraculous had taken place. Previous to my encounter with God, I could not have abstained from drinking for a single day. Although I knew there was supernatural change taking place in my life, I was still struggling with my fears of death and hell. I was not sure that God actually believed I was serious about my desire to change and avoid hell's punishment. Still feeling I would die soon, I earnestly sought a way to convince God of my sincerity in following Him.The following Sunday, I felt I should go to church again, so I went to the church that my young friend David attended. The preacher was a fire-and-brimstone type, and normally that style of preaching turned me off. Yet, I noticed that I was absorbing what he was saying like a sponge absorbs water. When he finished his sermon, he invited people to come forward to the altar for prayer, if they really wanted to show God they were serious about their relationship with Him; That created a dilemma in me.
My prayer all week was, "What could I do to show God I was serious?" but I also was too proud to want to parade myself in front of these people, acknowledging that I was a sinner. Since I had never been to that church, and I was still a shy person, I struggled with the decision. At the same time, I felt I was being compelled to go to the altar for prayer. Before I knew what happened, I was down at the altar weeping. As I knelt there, I felt a giant burden of guilt, shame and sin lift off of me. Then the peace of God I had been looking for came flooding in. I knew that I was in Christ and He was in me. I knew I was in the place that I needed to be for the rest of my life.
Art Lyons is now the director of Re-Entry Prison & Jail Ministry (RPJM). RPJM was founded to provide resources for inmates who are re-entering society. We provide referrals through a network of ministries and organizations that in turn assist Chaplains, Pastors, and family members who are working with inmates or ex-offenders.